The things I ponder...

Are there certain words you guys can never remember how to spell - no matter how many times you look them up? I have some words like that. The ones that I can think of are: vacuum, feud, and rhythm. I can never remember how many cs and us are in vacuum, and for some reason I cannot explain, I always want to write fued instead of feud, and whenever I try to spell rhythm it's always a complete mess...I don't even get close. But there are some words I notice get misspelled a lot. One thing I noticed a lot in my writing class was that people would write "breathe" for "breath" or vice versa A LOT. And I've noticed a lot of people don't know how to spell "definitely." I just think it's strange how our brains have these repeated trip ups.

I need to do my laundry. Do you know what I hate about getting near the end of my clean clothes? All that's left of my underwear is either my old lady underwear or the really uncomfortable underwear. It sucks. I don't know about you guys, but I definitely have an underwear cycle. The most comfortable (and my favorite) underwear get worn first. Those are the hipster underwear. I like those the best. Do you guys know which ones I'm talking about? Maybe it's just me, but I hate wearing my really cute underwear when I know they won't be seen. (You know, the ones where they actually match? As in the bra and panty actually have the same design and are supposed to be worn together - not just a mish-mash of colors...which I usually have.) It feels like a waste. On the days I wear my really cute underwear, I walk around all day thinking if there was some sort of spontaneous contest, where someone judged who was wearing the cutest underwear that day, I would totally win. (These are the kinds of things I think about it. I know, I'm so cerebral.) Maybe, on those days, I just need to start dropping trou and flashing people so my underwear has a chance to be seen and admired. This is completely ridiculous to be blogging about, isn't it? It's okay if you think it is. I think it is, too.

Do you know what I love? I cleaned my house yesterday (it sorely needed it, I might add) and it hadn't been cleaned for a while, and it had gotten to that point where I would come home and be disgusted the second I walked through the door. But now that it's clean, it was like a little surprise when I came home today. Like, "Oh, yeah. I forgot I cleaned. Look at how good my place looks." And I reveled in my clean house for a little bit... the fact that there are no smudges on my table or dog hair on the carpet or dirty dishes in the sink. I love coming home to a clean house. (Is it just me, or do I talk about cleaning my house A LOT in this blog? I think I have issues.)

I have a confession to make. This is going to seem random, but again, this particular post is about the things I find myself thinking about. I have an odd mind, I suppose. But let me continue with my confession. Whenever I go grocery shopping, I do not know how to pick out fruits or vegetables. Do you know what I'm talking about? I never know what I'm supposed to be "looking" for. I always glance at the other people near me, picking up and inspecting their fruit and eyeing it thoughtfullly. (Or maybe suspicously? Because people always seem to pick up a few before they settle on the "right" one.) I fake it. I pick up and "inspect" a few just for appearance's sake and then just settle on one. The only two pieces of produce where I actually know what I'm doing are avocados and watermelons. I know how to pick a good avocado...and I'm sure I look pretty ridiculous when I'm checking those out, because I inspect and squeeze those things like none other. And the trick for picking watermelons, by the way, is to look for the ones that have the little hard brown spots...that means they're sweet. Anyone have any tricks or tips for other produce? I have to look like I know what I'm doing out there instead of just faking it.

And now my final thought I will share with you guys. A little background info: I am not a morning person. (Huge understatement.) That means on work/school mornings I hit the snooze button about 10 times before I finally roll out of bed, and as a result, my mornings are always a mad dash to get ready. But I have a system...what kind you may ask? Well, let me tell you. I have a priorities list. The things I deem most important I do first, that way, if I run out of time to get ready, the less important things fall by the wayside. First and foremost on the list is brushing my teeth. Then getting dressed (you would think that would be first on the list, because it's not like I'm going to leave the house in my underwear, but still, the brushing of the teeth is always first) then the contact lens, then brushing the hair, then the make up, then styling my hair if their is enough time. Which there usually isn't. So I wear a pony tail a lot. And it is a very rare thing indeed if there is time for breakfast. I think it has happened maybe twice in the past six months. (I know, I know. It's the most important meal of the day. But I will just eat the breakfast of champions later aka a burrito with a Dr. Pepper and sometimes a Snickers bar. Jesus...I just realized how awful that sounds.) But I found myself wondering, do other people do this? Do they have a priority list in the morning? I would really like to know.

something clever

Things have been weird lately. I think I'm in a strange time of my life. (That kind of just reminded me of the very end of Fight Club, when Tyler Durden tells Marla Singer: "You met me at a very strange time in my life." Granted, I have not gone so far off the deep end that I have created an alter ego. Not yet, anyway.) I have no idea what I want, and I can't help but think I'm sort of lost in my direction - like I'm bobbing out at sea, just waiting. Waiting for a ship to come save me, or the shoreline to show up, or a shark to come and eat me. That last little line was supposed to be a joke, to assure you that although I may feel lost, I do not feel helpless. Or hopeless. I think I just have to make decisions in my life right now that I do not know how to make.

Do you know what would be great? If money wasn't such a big deal. I hate how important money is. I know it doesn't make you happy, but damn, doesn't it make things easier?

Do you know what else would be great? If we could spend our days doing all the things our heart desired. Really. Think about it. How often do we do exactly what we feel like doing? I think my days would include an endless supply of my favorite snacks (because I like snacks better than meals): avocados, cheese and apples, pistachios, grapes, cookie dough, chips and salsa, slices of raw potatoes, yeah, that's right, raw potatoes, and plenty of Dr. Pepper, of course....and there would be hours spent reading and swinging on the hammock in my front lawn (without me becoming sunburned, that is) and I would do something new and exciting every day...a new adventure to be had. Because how boring is life without experiences?

And I would write all the time, (Because as of late I have been a bit blocked...that sounds like I'm constipated...just mentally/creatively so.) and everything I wrote would be fabulous and everyone would want to publish it. And after my first big success I'd become like J.D. Salinger and hardly ever publish anything again, and people would wonder: "Whatever happened to that Jackie Harris*? Why does she deprive us of her writing like this? Remember how great her first piece of work was?" Except I wouldn't be as reclusive as he was. But I think he stopped publishing because he didn't like the media attention. I would stop because I'd be worried anything I wrote after wouldn't come anywhere close to being as good as the first.

*This is a total aside, but if I ever did get something published, I'm not even sure what name I would use. Jackie Harris? Jaclyn Harris? Jack Harris? J. Harris? J. N. Harris? The initials seem kind of pretentious to me. Maybe I should come up with a pen name. I'm open to suggestions. The funnier, the better. 

And since I'm going into a fantasy land...do you ever think about the things you would buy or spend your money on if you were rich? I think about that a lot. I really don't think I'd go too overboard. Not too many possessions, really, probably just a jet and a boat and ten cars. (Kidding.) Nah, more like a bunch of clothes and shoes and purses and the like. Because I'm typical like that. And a really awesome TV (because mine is so crappy, it makes me sad) and I would actually get cable. I consider that a luxury, folks - haven't had it for about six years. And I would travel all the time. Everywhere. You know what else I would do? I would hire people to work for me. Seriously. And hey, what's wrong with giving people jobs, eh? Stimulate the economy. You want to know who I would hire? Obviously, I would hire a cook. Because 1. I hate cooking and 2. I am really awful at cooking. I would hire someone to do my hair and make up every day. No joke. Can you imagine how awesome that would be? That would be awesome. I guess that's about it, actually. I can't think of anyone else I would want. But you know what I wouldn't hire people to do? I wouldn't hire a chauffeur, because I like to drive way too much. And I wouldn't hire a maid because (this might sound strange) I would feel bad having somebody else cleaning up after me. Plus, in a weird way, cleaning is kind of my therapy. And, although I don't have any kids, I would never hire a nanny. Why do people pay someone else to raise their children? I don't get it.

I had no idea what I was going to write about it when I sat down. I just wanted to write something. I think I feel a little better now.

terms of endearment

During my orientation for my current job, my manager talked about how we shouldn't use terms of endearment towards the customers. No sweetie or sugar etc, because people can find it to be diminutive or condescending. It got me thinking about it, and you know what? It's never bothered me when someone calls me hon, and in a weird way, I kind of like it. Only from older women though, not men. (Except, I think some older men can call you hon without it being creepy.)

One lady at my work calls people all sorts of pet names. It cracks me up, because hers are pretty unconventional. She calls a lot of people "dear heart" and if she really likes you, she calls you her "sugar lump." I'm pumped on it. (That's probably because I'm a sugar lump and not a dear heart.)

But it got me thinking about whether or not I ever do that. I didn't think I called people by any pet names. (People I don't know, that is. I call my boyfriend babe, and every once in a while I'll call him a couple others, mostly as a joke e.g. "boyface" and if I feel like being really obnoxious: "peach pit.") But I decided I would make a conscious effort to notice whether or not I ever said any terms of endearment. Turns out, I do. Not to adults, but to kids. I hadn't even realized it. But I noticed that I almost always call little boys "buddy" when I'm talking to them, and little girls are either "honey" or "sweetie." I wonder how long I've been doing that.

But now the question is, are people getting offended if I call their kids that? Would you get offended if someone was calling your kid buddy or honey?