Friday, July 23, 2010

the itty bitty tittie committee

Breast implants have been on my mind a lot lately, since I know someone close to me who recently got a boob job. I, myself, have very tiny boobs. We're talking pretty small. But I would never get a boob job.

This is a shout out to all the celebrity women out there who obviously have enough money to get a boob job, but choose to stay 100% natural.

Ali Larter (for Hollywood...they're tiny)

Charlize Theron (in my opinion, I think she may be the most beautiful woman on this planet...and her boobies are on the smaller side)

Evan Rachel Wood (I think she's gorgeous.)

Freida Pinto (the actress from Slumdog Millionaire)

Thandie Newton (I've always thought she was pretty.)

Gwyneth Paltrow (she even showed them off in Shakespeare in Love)

Natalie Portman (I absolutely adore her. When I was trying to find a photo of her where you could see she was on the smaller side, I had a hard time finding one where you would notice it. A lot of her fashion choices help hide the fact that she's small chested. I am definitely going to emulate.)

Kate Hudson (I love the fact that she has such small boobs and she doesn't even seem to care.)

Keri Russell (Not much up top, but she's still beautiful.)
Portia de Rossi (She is one of the first celebrities I remember noticing had tiny boobs because I watched Ally McBeal when I was a kid. And I thought she was one of the most gorgeous women ever.)
Rose Byrne (She is also really flat chested but she's stunning.)

Mena Suvari (While I fluctuate between whether or not I think she's attractive, one things for sure: I give her kudos for being brave enough to show her tiny tatas in American Beauty.)

Debra Messing (I love how there's an episode revolved around how small her boobs are on "Will & Grace")

Gwen Stefani (she had really tiny they're quite a bit bigger since she had her kids.)

Keira Knightley (Another person who has no boobs who I think is so pretty.)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

A Jack Attack Review: Inception

I watched Inception on Saturday, but I felt like I needed to give myself a few days to fully digest it and mull it over before I wrote anything about it. Really, with any movie, I like to wait a couple of days before I give an "official" opinion about it. This is because I like to give my brain the ability to reflect on it if needed...and if I find myself not thinking about the movie a couple days after I have seen it, then that tells me something. It means it's either boring, fluff, stupid, or just a plain time-waster. Inception is none of those things. I could give you a ton of superlatives to describe it, but that still wouldn't even touch the surface of how awesome this film is. I can't stop thinking about this movie. I've become kind of obsessed with it.

BUT, let me just say, that I can understand why someone might not like this movie. It is easily one of the strangest movies I have ever seen...and that's saying a lot. (I have seen A LOT of movies.) But the strangeness is part of what attracts me. There's nothing else like it. It's original. How often does that happen in Hollywood now adays?

Also, I could see some people not caring for it because it is complicated. It is a very intricate and elaborate film, and I can see how people can become lost within it. I'll admit, there are parts I'm not sure I fully understand. It's definitely not a movie you can go to and just sit back and watch. You need to have your brain turned on, you need to be actively thinking and absorbing everything that's going on to help you understand what's happening. But, again, this is just another reason why I liked it.

I mean, in its most basic form, Inception is a heist movie. Leonardo DiCaprio's character and his team break into people's minds through their dreams and steal ideas and information. But they take on a job that is just the opposite: planting an idea in someone's mind while in a dream. But it is much more than a heist movie.

The acting (especially by Leonardo DiCaprio...why doesn't he get more credit?) is AMAZING, the visual effects are stunning (there is a fight scene that is unbelievably badass), the content is absolutely was just...crazy. I'm seriously considering seeing it a second time.

I'm not going to spend any time explaining the plot, because it's too complex, and I think the viewer needs to find out for themselves. There is a ton of stuff I could say about this film, but I will hold off so you can make up your own mind. I will say that my brother and I have had crazy conversations about what we think this film means and what we think is really happening within the film.

The thing I loved most about this movie is that it made me think. The main idea/question the film leaves you with is: What is reality?

It is not a simple answer.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Jack Attack is Lovin':

If you haven't noticed, I kind of like to make lists. It's a weird thing I do. I was trying to think of a new list I could come up with, and I decided I was going to make a list of things that I've been obsessed with lately. So...this is what the Jack Attack has been loving lately:

Coldplay. I have been listening to Coldplay A LOT the past month. I have quite a few of their albums: Parachutes, A Rush of Blood to the Head, and Viva la Vida. But I've been stuck on Viva la Vida most recently. I really like the song "Strawberry Swing." Check out the music video, it's a trip.
Potstickers. I have been on a real potstickers kick. It's all I want to eat all the time. So, I've been making and consuming a lot of potstickers lately.
Documentaries. I have been watching soooo many documentaries this past month. Here are the ones I enjoyed the most: The September Issue which follows the editor of Vogue (Anna Wintour, who inspired Meryl Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada) as they plan their September layout, No Impact Man which follows a man and his family as they decide to live a year of their life completely green e.g. no motorized transportation, generating no trash, and not using toilet paper, and I also liked Waiting for Armageddon which is about a bunch of Evangelical Christians who believe the world is soon coming to an end. One documentary has been on my Netflix queue for months, but there's such a long wait list I haven't gotten it yet! It's entitled The Cove, and it won Best Documentary at the last Academy Awards. It investigates the fishing industry in Japan and how they are slaughtering dolphins. I really want to watch it, but I guess I just have to wait for that one.

"Big Love." I just started watching this television series, but I'm already kind of obsessed with it. I can't wait until I get more discs in the mail from Netflix.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Celebrities Back When & Now That

Mickey Rourke back when he was sexy:
Mickey Rouke now that it looks like you could smell him from 10 feet away:
Kathleen Turner back when she was a smoldering seductress:
Kathleen Turner now that she has turned into a man:
Val Kilmer back when he was hot enough to be the Ice Man:
Val Kilmer now that he has become 8 months pregnant:
Janice Dickinson back when she was a beautiful model:
Janice Dickinson now that she had a plastic surgeon make her look like a freak:

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Church Giggles

Want to hear one of my favorite memories from church? (When I went to church, that is.) Here we go:

My mom is a religious woman. As a result, my brother and I went to church every Sunday for 18 years. One summer, our church was getting new wood floors installed, so we held our Sunday services in the basement. The basement door was wide open for anyone to come in, because the church we attended wanted anyone and everyone to stop in.

One Sunday, a homeless man shuffled into the basement and settled himself in the pew behind my mother, my brother, and me. (Just an aside, my brother and I were about 16 and 17 at this point.) We always sat near the back, so there wasn't anyone else around us. The man kept falling asleep during the service, and we could hear him snoring behind us. This didn't really bother us, though. In fact, we felt pretty bad for him.

This particular Sunday happened to be communion. Perhaps you are not familiar with communion, so let me explain it to you. At least, let me explain how my church practiced communion. (Because it varies from church to church.) Our preacher would hold the loaf of bread, and one of the older church members would hold the cup of juice (we used grape juice instead of wine) and the congregation would form a line in front of them. We would go up one by one as the preacher would tear us off a piece of bread, tell us, "This is the body of Christ given to you. Eat this in remembrance of him," and we'd bow our head and move over to the cup where the member would say, "This is the blood of Christ shed for you. Drink this in remembrance of him," and then we would dip our piece of bread in the juice, and then walk over to the prayer benches. There, you would pray and ask for forgiveness for the sins you had committed since last communion and you would promise God that you would do your best to not sin anymore.

So, anway, this whole process would be a little cramped in the basement, so instead of the prayer benches, we would go back to our pew to pray. We had a different preacher that Sunday because our regular preacher had business elsewhere. This substitute preacher did not tear off a piece of bread for us, but instead held out the loaf to us so we would tear off our own piece of bread. (Unsanitary, I know.) My brother was in front of me in line, and I saw him try to tear off a piece of bread, and he ended up breaking off the tiniest little crumb. I could tell just by looking at him that he wasn't sure what to do. He hesitated there for a moment, not sure if he should break off a bigger piece or just continue on his way to the cup. It was like I could see the thoughts in his brain. He decided to move onto the cup, and when I saw him try to dip that tiny little crumb into the cup, I almost lost it.

Church giggles are really hard to suppress. Harder than any other giggle. And I was trying really hard not to laugh out loud. And when we walked back to our pew together, we both could not stop giggling about it. We were both sitting there with our shoulders shaking, trying really hard not to laugh out loud. My mom slid into the pew and ask-whispered why we were laughing. We managed to tell her in between fits what had happened. She shook her head and started to giggle, too.

But this was when the homeless man behind us woke up and heard/saw us laughing. He leaned over to us and said, "Stop laughing at me." Teddy and I both looked at each other with the most bewildered looks on our faces, and then turned around in the pew to look at him. The homeless man got even more upset. He got louder, "Don't look at me! Turn around!" My mom said hurriedly, "Don't look at him! Don't look at him, kids. Turn around!" Teddy and I both turned around, but Teddy and I could not control ourselves. We started laughing even harder. The homeless man kept on telling us to stop laughing. My mom got really worried, and she told him, "Oh, no. They're not laughing at you. You see, my son got a really tiny piece of bread at communion and he had trouble dipping it into the cup and they're laughing about that." And hearing my mom trying to explain the situation to him only made us laugh more. This was when he started pounding his fist and saying, "I don't like people laughing at me!" and he was eyeing my brother as if he were going to fight him.

Luckily, church ended within the next minute or so, and my mom told us we needed to go home, because we still could not contain ourselves. To this day, every once in a while, one of us will point at the other and say, "Don't look at me! Turn around! I don't like people laughing at me!" and we will all start busting up. giggles.